Letting Yourself Be Seen & Heard

I see it all the time: clients come to me with either one of two energies: either they want to get in shape to prove themselves to others (or even to themselves!) OR they want to get in shape without anyone else noticing them (baggy clothes, can’t take a compliment, feel awkward when others notice their progress). Does either of those sound like you?

I’ll be transparent here (since it’s my blog…ha!) This sure does describe me in a lot of ways; trying to prove myself by competing in figure and then later hiding in my business expecting that if “I build it, they will come” without actually shouting from the rooftops and letting people know that I can help them.  I’ve done a ton of research, reading and soul searching recently on why we feel the need to hide from others, or prove ourselves.  Because having to prove yourself to others is kinda the same thing as hiding: you don’t feel worthy of being seen or heard as you are so you’re constantly trying to prove your worth.

Here’s the two by four that hit me between the eyes the other day:

How much you allow yourself to be seen and heard directly equates to how much you love yourself.  

Read that a few times and really let that idea soak in.  Let’s talk about it and see if that’s what’s going on for you.

Are you not showing up? Are you letting your thoughts and opinions be heard? Are you speaking your truth? Do you feel you’re worthy of being looked at, or seen, or heard? Are you half-assing it? Showing yourself sometimes, but only a little bit….the parts that won’t rock the boat or won’t cause confrontation, or won’t cause people to judge you or not like you?

Being visible equates to self-loveHere’s the deal, doing all that robs people of getting to know the real you, of benefiting from your unique gifts and viewpoints, and keeps you from living your life.  If you’re trying to hide, you won’t take advantage of opportunities, you won’t take risks, you won’t make a good living, you’ll teach your kids to live in fear of other people’s opinions, you’ll conform to whomever is near you.

If you truly loved yourself you’d show up as exactly you, no matter what circumstance or who’s present. You’d know that you’re perfect and whole exactly as you are. You’d know that you have gifts unique to you that you can’t wait to share with the world. You wouldn’t wait for approval as you know you can add value to the world and people NEED to hear you. Why then would you hide, remain in the background and not share your message??

If you find yourself not being visible, not sharing your gifts or simply not speaking your true beliefs due to fear of judgment or not believing you’re “good enough” to be seen and heard…let’s try the following steps to turn things around:

  • What are you feeling when you find yourself hiding or pulling back from sharing your message? Describe what you physically feel. Example: pounding heart rate, sweaty palms, stomach ache, flushed cheeks
  • Why are you feeling this way? Is it because of judgment? Fear of attention? Fear of being found out a fraud? Fear that people won’t like or accept you? Keep asking why to dig down to the core of what’s causing your bad feeling.
  • What do you want instead?  Describe how you’d like to be showing up in the world. Example: I want to feel confident in sharing all my knowledge with other people so that I can help them!
  • My new belief about being visible: _________________________________________________.Example: I am a freaking genius with nutrition, exercise, hypothyroid, adrenal/hormone issues and people want, no, NEED to hear my story.  I have knowledge that will help people and free them from their dieting/body hate jail.  I love you so much I want to share my gifts with you to help you.
  • What action do you get to take to align with your new belief? Example: post this blog in some Facebook groups I’m in as I know it can help some of the people lurking…hell, I was one of them!! I will make meditation one of my daily practices to calm my mind and elevate my thinking. I will take action on social media right now, not waiting ‘til everything is “perfect” with my freebies and website. I will have faith that the right people who need my knowledge will resonate to my message.  I’m committed to being visible to share my gifts and I’m open to what the next steps get to be.

The topic of being visible and being your authentic self is such a fun topic to explore! You can uncover some really crazy beliefs that you don’t want to have, or don’t remember why you even created in the first place.  But I truly believe we all have something awesome that we can share with the world, and it’s our responsibility to do just that.  So, please, get visible…allow yourself to be seen and heard!

About Kristy Stabler

Kristy Stabler is a wife, mom of 3 daughters, a national level figure competitor, a nutritionist, personal trainer, and health blogger for the Huffington Post. But underneath all those titles, she’s a woman who has dealt with her own body image issues, self-doubt and diet obsession. Seeing a lack of true substance to most of the fitness programs out there, Kristy changed her coaching to address the mental & emotional aspects of good health that every woman deals with on a daily basis, but tends to ignore in the pursuit of a size zero. Kristy has a Business Degree from California State University Sacramento and is ISSA certified in nutrition and personal training.