I Am What I Am…No Apologies

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” – Dr Seuss

I’ve spent so much time in my life trying to be something other than myself. I always felt I needed to be smarter, funnier, more athletic, more beautiful, more easy going…just MORE.  Then other times, I felt I needed to be less…less loud, less boastful, a few pounds lighter, less uptight, less driven.  So I just ended up in a struggle of wanting to be more and at the same time, wanting to be less.  What the hell?!  Can everyone see how this just wasn’t going to work out for me?

I wish someone had just stopped me when I was a kid and said “hey, you already are the perfect amount of you”.   But no one ever did, so as a 33-year old, I’ve finally given myself permission to just be me.  And to totally rock it.  And to not apologize for it.

Kristy 13

You may be wondering what the heck I mean by all that, but really think about this one. How many times do we give up our opinions for the sake of others: “I don’t care where we go to eat, you decide? This friend of mine is kind of quiet, so I’ll tone down my jokes and laughter when I’m with her.  This guy I’m dating likes to stay up late, so I’m going to quit my early morning workout sessions so I can stay up with him.  I don’t want to go on that beach vacation with my girlfriends because I’m uncomfortable in my swimsuit.  I would love to dress like that but my family would freak.”

Maybe you guys already knew all this and I’m just catching on. But I have to tell you, it’s been absolutely liberating to decide to not live my life according to someone else’s script.  I choose my own path, I decide what goes or stays.  I trust that my friends and loved ones love me for who I truly am.  I don’t live in fear of stepping outside of someone else’s definition of who I should be.  I don’t have the stress of living a lie.   I’m perfectly imperfect.  And I make sure I tell my daughters not to wait until someone gives them “permission” to be authentic.

Part of this decision includes loving even the parts of me that aren’t society’s definition of perfect or normal for a trainer/nutritionist/mom/wife/33-yr-old.  So here I am.  I don’t have a perfect body, I don’t eat “clean” every single meal, I don’t do a 2-hour “hardcore” gym workout, I don’t wear mommy jeans, I have multiple body piercings, I love to read every chance I get, I love to cook, flip-flops are my go-to shoes, I love my morning coffee routine and tickle fights with my 5-year old.  My business is important to me, but never comes before my family and I will never apologize for that.  I act tough but am really a total marshmallow inside.  I hate phone calls but I can text like a teenager.  I never leave the house without makeup, but I did wear my pj’s to the grocery store the other day (they’re just so damn cute, no one would have guessed!).  Oh, and my hair changes color every 2 months or so (right now I’m a brunette with some bright red streaks).  I love my kids beyond reason.  I would rather have a night snuggling on the couch with my husband than cocktails at the latest hot spot.  And that’s just the beginning of who I am.

So now you know a bit about me…the real me.  I’d love to hear who YOU are…

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr Seuss

*Originally published in 2013 on my first blog. My hair is now ombre blond with a teal streak (see pic). : )

About Kristy Stabler

Kristy Stabler is a wife, mom of 3 daughters, a national level figure competitor, a nutritionist, personal trainer, and health blogger for the Huffington Post. But underneath all those titles, she’s a woman who has dealt with her own body image issues, self-doubt and diet obsession. Seeing a lack of true substance to most of the fitness programs out there, Kristy changed her coaching to address the mental & emotional aspects of good health that every woman deals with on a daily basis, but tends to ignore in the pursuit of a size zero. Kristy has a Business Degree from California State University Sacramento and is ISSA certified in nutrition and personal training.